There are definite traits that define relationship maturity and readiness. If a person is lacking significantly in any of these traits, he or she will have more relationship dysfunction and pain and suffering. The more traits that are lacking, the worse the relationship prognosis. The more traits that are present, the more happy and joyous the relationship will be.

Valuing being in a relationship, as opposed to being alone
Recognizing that relations that work require work – time and energy
Ability to be Vulnerable in spite of fears of being hurt ,engulfed, or abandoned
Not being Self-Righteousness – My way or the highway- ability to compromise

Empathy -ability to understanding another person’s feelings
More interested in Giving than taking- being other oriented
Ability to be Self-Aware, be in touch with and try to understand your inner feelings
Willingness to develop Patience and realize issues take time to be worked out
Ability to Control Anger, by not doing the following- lashing out, acting outaggressively, acting-in by being passive-aggressive, being verbally abusive
Ability to be Assertive and express feelings directly, honestly, openly with respect to the othe r person’s feelings at the same time
Creating a Safe Space for your partner , both physically and emotionally, to discuss conflicts
Willingness to Communicate Regularly about the relationship
Not engaging in Controlling, intimidating, or manipulative behavior
Respecting your partner’s in all ways
Generosity of thought, speech, action, time, space and money- details
A willingness to Grow and Learn together
Creating Trust by being trustworthy and trusting your partner
Compassion for others- You are not perfect and neither is your partner
Willingness to get help either individually or, as a couple, if there are difficulties you cannot work out on your own
Being Grateful that your partner as chosen to devote themselves to you and no one else and how special that is
Appreciation – Ability to appreciate all the small and large things your partner does to enrich your life, realizing that love is a goft freely given
Comittment – That when the going gets rough you don’t get going, realizing even the best of relationships have the worst of times