Counseling Approach
Divorce is now an epidemic as one out of every two marriages end in front of the judge. What went wrong for so many well-meaning people who were so in love? I believe the answer is that people enter relationships without Relationships Skills as they have not had anyone to teach them. Love is just not enough. Successful relationships require a certain Set of Skills that are necessary at each stage of relationship development. My treatment focus is to help couples develop their Emotional Literacy and Relationship Maturity, both as individuals and as a couple at each stage.

Relationships go through predictable stages from the beginning stage of “Good Will” to the later “Battle of Wills”. It is at this stage that most couples get Stuck in power and control battles. Resentments build, issues do not get resolved, and the couple begin to disconnect, losing their sense of joy, intimacy, love, and passion. It is at this critical point that couples must learn skills to co-create and maintain an Emotionally Safe Space where honest, authentic, and caring communication can take place. The goal is to move from confrontation to care-frontation and respectful, loving communication. There is no winner and loser in this model. What matters most is that the Relationship Wins.

My treatment focus is helping couples co-create and maintain a safe space between them. It is the Relationship Lifeline. The ability to create and maintain this space is The best predictor as to whether a relationship will thrive or not. I serve as a guide and teacher, helping my clients go from “Me” to “We”, to see conflict as normal, as an opportunity for growth, and increasing intimacy and connection. It is not so much how much the couple love each other, rather how much they love each other when they are not getting along. Every relationship eventually reaches the power and control stage and it is crucial that couples learn the skills to maneuver successfully through this stage with skills to last a life time. That is my goal. My patients and I work together as a team where I am at first their therapist and eventually their coach as they become more relationship skilled, literate, and mature. The goal is always for the couple to build an enduring relationship.
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